Weekly Status - Week 36, 2019

Weekly status -- week 36 of 2019

Current State of Mind

It's Sunday, and I feel pretty good about my weekend.  I managed to go to my first exercise class in like, forever. I am sore as sore can be. It hurts to stand, it hurts to sit, but it's because I accomplished something good.   Managed to not go out to dinner at all this weekend, which is amazing.. we usually suck on weekends for cooking. We did order take out one night but I kept under my calories, so win-win!  

Weighed myself Friday. Not too happy with the amount of weight loss but it is certainly within "normal" weight loss range. I expect miracles and get disappointed when it doesn't come true (even when I know it's not possible to be true!) .. damn those voices in my head. You know, the one that is like, "you're going to get on the scale friday and have lost 5 more pounds, yay you!! You've been working so hard, it's a GIVEN!"

Unfortunately that voice just sets me up for disappointment. I'm really trying to focus more and listen to the 'realistic' voice. The realistic voice is always there, but I rationalize it away and ignore it. I need to listen to it!

Current Plan

Want to go to kickboxing 1 time this week, and 1 time on Saturday. 

Continue to track food every day and drink enough water.  No scale until Friday. Work on "me" holistically.  

Accomplishments 

• Talked to someone on the phone and joined a kickboxing gym. 
• Actually showed up for the class and did it. 
• Drank enough water every day
• Stayed on track food-wise 

Goals + Progress 

Long term 

Goal Date: February 2020 - I am going on another vacation and I want to lose 50 pounds before then. I know it's not just about the losing weight but about my mental state and overcoming emotional eating so my interim goals will more focus around that.   

Progress: 7 pounds lost, 43 to go. 

Short term 

These goals are shorter term, but will restart over again once done: 

1. Logging food every day -  In progress, successful so far! 

2. Going to helpful facebook groups for support - Have been interacting and posting more. I'm finding it helpful! 

3. Getting on the scale only once a week  - On track! Husband is hiding the scale and i'm only getting on the scale on Fridays. Had first friday weight-in this week and I didn't like the number, but I didn't obsess (much). Hopefully with time it will get better. 

4. Blogging at least once a week - Success! 

5. Exploring ways to incorporate mindfulness and meditation into my life - Still to do. Looking at 'calm' app. 

Weekly Status - Week 35, 2019

I'm going to start making weekly "check in" posts to write about a few things. I'm not going to do the "start weight" and "pounds lost" bit because to me, this journey is more than just about the numbers on the scale. It's about fixing ME and hopefully the rest will follow.  I'm going to be brutally honest and try to get my feelings out in the open vs locked away in some storage space in my brain.



So without further chatter, here is my very first weekly status -- week 35 of 2019

Current State of Mind 

Depressed. Going through the motions. Started a diet this week with moderate success and a few non-scale victories but overall I just feel crappy. I have my period, I'm anxious, and I have a lot of stuff bubbling under the surface that's threatening to sabotage me.  I've made some good choices this week, but also some not so good choices. The not so good ones weigh heavy on me. I constantly want to say "fuck it" and go eat some nachos or McDonalds.   It seems I've only just started and the will to succeed is waning.

Current Plan 

Fake it until I make it? Just kidding. Well, I re-started writing for starters. I plan to keep writing at least once a week, hopefully more. I want to really be honest with myself. I explored 'tools' for success and I really want to work towards fulfilling the resolutions made and utilize the tools (and maybe discover more?)  to my advantage.  In regards to eating, I am trying to reduce the amount of carbohydrates while increasing veggies, lean protein, and healthy fats.  Right now I'm aiming for 1700 calories a day and for the most part this week I've done OK. I've lost about 4 pounds which is motivating and positive. 

Accomplishments

Key accomplishments I made this week were blogging, losing 4 pounds, thinking about "tools" (mental and physical) to help me on my journey, and coming up with some attainable resolutions in that regard.

Goals + Progress 

Long term 

Goal Date: February 2020 - I am going on another vacation and I want to lose 50 pounds before then. I know it's not just about the losing weight but about my mental state and overcoming emotional eating so my interim goals will more focus around that.   

Progress: 4 pounds lost, 46 to go. 

Short term 

These goals are shorter term, but will restart over again once done: 

1. Logging food every day -  In progress, successful so far! 

2. Going to helpful facebook groups for support - Need to figure out which ones

3. Getting on the scale only once a week - Failed so far. Will need to pick a "scale day" and stick to it. 

4. Blogging at least once a week - Success! 

5. Exploring ways to incorporate mindfulness and meditation into my life - Still to do.