Weekly Status - Week 35, 2019

I'm going to start making weekly "check in" posts to write about a few things. I'm not going to do the "start weight" and "pounds lost" bit because to me, this journey is more than just about the numbers on the scale. It's about fixing ME and hopefully the rest will follow.  I'm going to be brutally honest and try to get my feelings out in the open vs locked away in some storage space in my brain.



So without further chatter, here is my very first weekly status -- week 35 of 2019

Current State of Mind 

Depressed. Going through the motions. Started a diet this week with moderate success and a few non-scale victories but overall I just feel crappy. I have my period, I'm anxious, and I have a lot of stuff bubbling under the surface that's threatening to sabotage me.  I've made some good choices this week, but also some not so good choices. The not so good ones weigh heavy on me. I constantly want to say "fuck it" and go eat some nachos or McDonalds.   It seems I've only just started and the will to succeed is waning.

Current Plan 

Fake it until I make it? Just kidding. Well, I re-started writing for starters. I plan to keep writing at least once a week, hopefully more. I want to really be honest with myself. I explored 'tools' for success and I really want to work towards fulfilling the resolutions made and utilize the tools (and maybe discover more?)  to my advantage.  In regards to eating, I am trying to reduce the amount of carbohydrates while increasing veggies, lean protein, and healthy fats.  Right now I'm aiming for 1700 calories a day and for the most part this week I've done OK. I've lost about 4 pounds which is motivating and positive. 

Accomplishments

Key accomplishments I made this week were blogging, losing 4 pounds, thinking about "tools" (mental and physical) to help me on my journey, and coming up with some attainable resolutions in that regard.

Goals + Progress 

Long term 

Goal Date: February 2020 - I am going on another vacation and I want to lose 50 pounds before then. I know it's not just about the losing weight but about my mental state and overcoming emotional eating so my interim goals will more focus around that.   

Progress: 4 pounds lost, 46 to go. 

Short term 

These goals are shorter term, but will restart over again once done: 

1. Logging food every day -  In progress, successful so far! 

2. Going to helpful facebook groups for support - Need to figure out which ones

3. Getting on the scale only once a week - Failed so far. Will need to pick a "scale day" and stick to it. 

4. Blogging at least once a week - Success! 

5. Exploring ways to incorporate mindfulness and meditation into my life - Still to do.