I freakin did it!

I did it!!  I went to the kickboxing class this morning!

I had many reasons to back out: 

• My daughter woke up this morning at 3am throwing up.  I was up most of the night with her after that with very little sleep. 
• I was anxious and afraid. 
• I didn't have a sports bra
• I didn't have any nice exercise clothes
• Did I mention I was afraid?

Anyway, tired and exhausted, wearing 2 uncomfortable crappy bras, crappy Walmart drawstring capri pants, a tank top and an old t-shirt, I got in the car and went.  As I drove there, the voices in my head told me I could still back out. I could go shopping for an hour and then return home. Another little voice told me that my husband and kids were rooting for me to succeed and I'd let them down. 

I pulled up to the building, it was opening day.  It was crowded and hectic. I nervously parked my car and walked in.  Everyone was busy but friendly.  One of the staff gave me some gloves and showed me the punches and kicks.  I can do this, I kept thinking, when all I wanted to do was run out the door when nobody was looking.  To ensure I didn't do that, I selected a heavy bag right in the middle. No hiding near the cubbies or the door, I was front and center. 

Class started, and I won't lie, about 19 minutes into the HOUR long class, I was sweaty and exhausted. A staff member worked out next to me and encouraged me to go at my own pace, modify as needed, (and I did). I worked hard. I never felt like I couldn't do the activities, which was good.  Finally I made it to the end. I. DID. IT. 

So proud of myself. This first hurdle is over. Now I need to go back. My goal is 2 days this week -- a week day and then once on the weekend.  I am going to do it!